purple.light

Monday, May 24, 2004

No Monday Blues yet.... 

The weekend just ended.
Have to say that it was not one of the best that I ever had to live through.
A dash of insensitivity, a touch of frustration at a 14-hour time difference, generous shavings of runaway thoughts, some missed calls and voila! A recipe for an unhappy weekend.
But thankfully, all that was redeemed in the 45 minutes that linked Sunday to Monday.
A temporary normality that was installed for one week was restored, albeit temporarily.

Some introspection: there are times when I am genuinely jolly during practices and those are the times when I crack silly jokes and generally enhance the "chorale bimbo" tag that was given unceremoniously to me. And there, there are times when I get loud and irrepressible to mask the unhappiness inside. Nobody wants to see a sulky face, nobody likes to hear about sob stories and so, the clown has to surface to throw a cloak over the simmering sadness that's threatening to spill out.

Rediscovered an old song that I used to love - Aimee Mann's That's Just What You Are. It's a catchy, infectious tune about how a girlfriend decides to leave her boyfriend because they are always quarreling about the same old thing. He gets defensive when she tries to talk to him about changing to be a nicer guy and attempts to get her to change instead. Somehow, it reminds me vaguely of the ex. I suppose it's the same for all relationships, that if you cannot accept the person or if he cannot change the very things that irk the hell out of you, then it's time to hit the road because it's a sign that you are not compatible.

Acting steady always ready to defend your fears
What's the matter with the truth, did I offend your ears
By suggesting that a change might be a thing to try
Like it would kill you just to try and be a nicer guy

Is it right, then, to expect your partner to change for the better for you? Would that be selfish? Or justifiable on the grounds that this is a relationship and we should both give and take? How do you actually gauge the balance?


What's Playing on iTunes
That's Just What You Are from "I'm With Stupid" by Aimee Mann

yAnn at 5/24/2004 01:49:00 AM