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I promised myself I wouldn't blog today, that I wouldn't spend too much time on the Net today, that I would complete my lecture readings, that I would go catch up on the sleep that eluded me last night (dreamt that I couldn't sleep, weird flying monsters getting flung down the slopes).
And what am I doing here now?
Hee.
But well, at least, things are going well and dandy.
My travel plans, which I thought had gone to the depths of hell, are starting to be righted again, thanks to dear friends (you know who you are!).
I am starting to reach out to people whom I have neglected to really know for the past few years. Like Yenew, Topo, Ash, Fur, Dotz, Julia, JJ etc. I am not alone and I need not feel alone because everyone is just a call, a sms, a message away.
I have come to realise that it is okay to be sad once in a while. I am not a superhuman, I have emotions and memories too. And memories and the feeling of hurt do not disappear overnight (though I damn wish they would). As W tells me, I am a better person because of all that has happened, that I am all the stronger for it. And I want to believe him.
Also realise that happiness need not come from being happy with/about myself. Was reading through the blog of Ash's friend, Abby, and suddenly felt the well of joy at her happiness bubbling up my heart. Ash thought I had gone mad but somehow, I was really glad that Abby is contented. And I don't even know that girl. Weird, yeah?
There have been some sparks of attraction towards some members of the opposite sex, feelings that I had thought were long dead or at least destined to be dormant for a very long time to come. I still have the aptitude to fall in love then.
Life may not be fair but now I know that I have the strength and fortitude to weather through all the ups and downs. Plus, there are people who love and believe in me and that's the best blessing anyone can get. I may not be the smartest, the wealthiest, the best-dressed but I am definitely one of the richest, in terms of love and happiness.